Kravlös kärlek

Den här dikten skrev jag till min far 1997, han har varit borta sedan 1986. Jag tror jag skrev den på engelska för att det känns mindre personligt och lättare. Nu delar jag med mig här.
You held me in your arms
I looked into your smiling blue eyes
and I smiled back, unknowing,
capable of love only
with a childs innocence.
During my time with you
your blue eyes smiled less and less
You had a heartache I could not explain
You were suffering from something, to me,
strange and so very lonely.
You did´nt tell me what was wrong
and I could´nt help nor understand.
You were often angry and yelled at your family
Those blue eyes started crying and deep wtithin them
I could see love. I could also hear cries for help.
Now you´re gone and I know
I know the bottle took your life.
We gave you several chances
but you threw them away
Who can help someone
that does´nt want help?
I know you loved us
your last thought´s was
probably with us
but if you had´nt loved
your drinking so much
maybe we could have been
a family right now.
Lord knows I miss you
and I feel blessed that
you at least got to give me life
and all the love you had time to give me.
So, thank you father for your gift´s
and for being my father.
Looking at pictures of you
seeing your blue eyes
makes me warm inside
Because deep down somewhere
I remember those happy days
when your blue eyes smiled
and I did´nt know
capable of love only.
//Monika